Peace
by AJ and Sebastian Goin
Summary: Gibbs seeks help finding peace in life from Kate. Mild spoilers through current. Oneshot.


AN: This is going to be a new thing for us as we haven't ever done anything but a prologue or epilogue from this POV. Also, I'm starting this way later than I should be awake so Sebby is asleep. I'm in training right now at work for a new position (one of those "promotion with no additional pay" type deals, but the next step up in the company) and my older bro is home more next week so I won't have my nephew as much in the evenings, so I may actually find some decent time to write. There is one more oneshot request in after this one and then I need more ideas, so please, shoot me a PM!

Disclaimer: If I owned NCIS, Ziva wouldn't have left, McAbby would exist, and there would be far more elevator this season.

Dedication: By special request of JenJen who always supports and motivates us and whom I would be lost without. This isn't exactly what you asked for, but I did incorporate it.

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As he stood watching his team, Leroy Jethro Gibbs couldn't evict the tight feeling clenching at the pit of his stomach. He should be happy, really. Bishop was settling in nicely. She got along well with every member of the team, even if she was a bit hard headed.

He'd realized it a few days ago, exactly why she fit. She was a perfect combination of them all. She could engage Ducky intellectually, had Abby's kind heart, matched Tony's sense of humor, mirrored McGee's dedication, and ranked right up there with himself on stubbornness. And she had Ziva's complete disregard for personal boundaries.

It was the last bit that had let to his current melancholy mood. If he were being completely honest, his easy attachment to Bishop frightened him. She was quickly becoming a member of their dysfunctional little family, and that could lead to nothing but heartache.

Save for Abby, things did not end well for his 'daughters'. Kelly had been killed because she wasn't there to protect her and Shannon. It had almost been the end of him. Thanks to Mike Franks, he had managed to scrape himself back together enough to function.

But then had been Kate. He had been hard on her, but the gruff exterior was all an act. She was as much his as if they had been biologically connected. When she had died, it tore apart the pieces of his heart he'd managed to glue back together. He'd managed to keep himself going on revenge and the need to support Tony and Tim. He had entirely planned to retire and be done with it all once he had made Ari pay for robbing him of his second chance at a family.

But that had all changed when he met Ziva. The little Israeli girl was a spitfire, but he could recognize a bit of his own brokenness in her. But she challenged them all and, somehow, helped each of them cope with Kate's loss in a different way. She became fast friends with Tim, provided a challenge for Tony, and distracted Gibbs himself.

They hadn't lost Ziva to death, rather to the demise of her spirit. He couldn't blame her. If he was honest with himself, this job had burnt him out years before his time spent on a beach with Mike Franks and multiple times over since. He only stayed around because he needed his kids. They didn't need him anymore. Hadn't for a long time. But he needed them.

Unable to continue to take the crushing weight that tended to settle upon him when he stood still too long, he shoved away from the wall and headed for the door. A walk would help settle mind, body, and spirit, and he knew just the place to take it.

He wasn't surprised to find the cemetery deserted. It was late February in Virginia, which meant it was cold and windy, even more so than usual this year. Repetition made the journey to the particular grave he was seeking easy.

When he arrived at his destination, he bent down, brushing a dusting of snow from the stone marker, allowing his fingers to linger over the carving of her name. "We still miss you ya know."

He stood, shoving his hands deep into his pockets to help ward off the stiffening cold that was settling into them. "I'm not sure I can do it again, Kate. We've lost you and Jenny and now Ziva. I'm not sure if I can handle if we lose this one too."

He stood in the biting wind, hoping for her image to come to him and give him the answers he was seeking. But she didn't come and he took that as answer enough, heaving a heavy sigh. "Alright, I get it. This is where you would give me a lecture about letting people in, so let's set aside my feelings for a minute. I'm worried about Tony. I don't know how he managed to make it through losing you. What happened with Ziva should have broken him far more than it did. I'm worried that it's all an act, the same front I put up every day."

The breeze whipped into a gust, but other than the sound of a nearby tree creaking under the pressure, no new noise filtered into his mind. "That better mean you're looking out for him. He sure as hell needs it."

He stood for a few more minutes, hoping for more wisdom to descend on him. When further revelation didn't come, he released another sigh. "Alright. Guess I better get back to work. See you soon."

He stopped for a fresh cup of coffee on his way back to the office. He wasn't feeling much better than when he'd left but his stomach was no longer tightly knotted and he had a pile of paperwork to get to before they caught another case, so he made his way straight to his desk.

He wasn't sure how long he had been pecking away at the keyboard when his phone buzzed. He flipped it open, expecting it to be a call about a case and instead finding a text message. The two sentences managed to make him feel better than he had in months.

Since Tony had left her in Israel, Gibbs heard from Ziva exactly once a week. Usually the message simply contained the words "Still alive." Since she used a different phone each time, she signed them with a Z. There was nothing more. Once he'd tried to call the number back, only to find it had already been disconnected. He had taken to responding with an equally simply "Ok" to let her know he had gotten it and that the team was safe, but he had no clue if she was getting the reply.

This time the message was longer. "Still alive. Doing okay." Fighting back a smile, he managed to punch in the word "Good" and sent it.

He glanced around the bullpen to make sure none of his team had seen the momentary chink in his armor, but none of them were paying him any attention. They were all deeply engrossed in their own reports, except for Tony. He had just snatched his phone off his desk top as it had vibrated. He tapped the screen a couple of times then smiled.

His eyes scanned the message he had accessed then he quickly tapped out a lengthy reply. The phone was returned to its spot and Tony returned his hands to the keyboard. A few minutes later he stood, sliding his phone into his pocket.

"Is it okay if I take off for the night, Boss? I have somewhere to be."

Gibbs glanced at the time on his monitor. It was well past 1700 and most of the rest of the agents not on cases were long gone. "Go on. All of you, get out of here. Paperwork will still be here tomorrow."

The trio packed up their things and exited together. Gibbs himself finished the report he was on, but decided against starting on the next. He shut down his computer, collected his gun and cell phone, and pulled his coat from the back of his chair.

He took the long way out, deliberately taking himself past the wall where Kate's picture hung with those of other fallen agents. He frowned at it a moment as he used his sleeve to brush a smudge from the glass. He glanced around to make sure he was alone before speaking.

"Thanks. I don't know how you got through to her, but thanks."

Silently he donned his jacket and aimed himself at the exit. For once, he felt at peace. Tonight there would be no strong drinks, no need to work with wood, and no insomnia. Tonight, he fully planned on getting a good night's rest.

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AN: Okay, I actually started this almost a month ago. February has been crazy. Most days I am awake at 6, up at 6:30, out of the house between 7 and 7:30, and sometimes don't get home until 9 or later. Add to that the training at work and my brain has been mush. Training is over so I am going to try to get the last fic prompt I have promised to someone hashed out within the next couple of weeks as well as work on my NCIS short story I've been dabbling with so I can get them posted BEFORE JenJen gets here for vacation at the end of the month. As always with me, no promises. I'm really hoping my little sister gives birth to my nephew this week so I can go meet him next weekend before I start having to work Saturdays, so hopefully I won't be able to write then, but we'll see.

MN: We need more prompts for oneshots or short stories. All ideas considered! PM us please!


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